


Make it Through the Night

by a1_kitkat



Category: A1
Genre: Boyband, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Crushes, Early Work, First Time, M/M, Not Beta Read, Requited Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Secrets, Short Chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 22:05:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13350465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: Ben wants Mark and Paul wants Christian but when Ben and Paul see Mark hook up with Christian, everything changes





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an insanely early work of mine... That honestly isn't entirely mine. 
> 
> One of the first fics I ever wrote was very, very heavily inspired by a fic based on UK boyband 5ive in which they essentially all get it on with each other. I'm unable to find this fic online anymore so if anyone knows the name or the author of that work, feel free to get in touch with me :)

Paul shifted awkwardly in the very uncomfortable chair he’d been sitting in for the past two… three… four hours and tried to subtly check his watch but couldn’t quite make out the time, not that it would’ve helped as he tried to remember if he’d manually adjusted it since landing. Was his watch still set to UK time or did it now reflect the US time? Where in the US was he anyway? He wracked his brain, trying desperately hard to recall the name of the airport they’d flown into.   
Why hadn’t he been paying attention? It came to him when he heard the familiar laugh of his band mate, Christian, from several feet away. He looked up and saw his friend on his feet, stretching his arms above his head, his shirt ridding up to reveal his navel, as he apologized to their manager, Tim, stating he needed to loosen his muscles after being cooped up in this room for so long.

Tim and their other manager, Vicki, reluctantly agreed to take a break and excused the singers. Ben, the youngest, was the first to flee the room but both Tim and Vicki remained in their seats. Paul stood up and made his way over to the pitcher on the desk to pour himself a glass of water though his eyes never once left Christian, watching his each and every move. Their last band member, Mark, was on his feet now and was standing eerily close to Chris. Suddenly Paul was back on the plane; watching Mark and Chris, who had been sitting together, as they leaned very close to each other and whispered back and forth. It caused a very uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
He’d looked forward to this trip for some time now and they’d been uprooted from the UK and brought to the US to record their new album. Being so far from home, from their family and friends was tough on each of them but the time away together always brought them closer as friends and Paul had secretly hoped this trip could bring him and Christian even closer together.

“Hey, Paul?” Tim’s voice interrupted his thoughts.  
“Sorry, I was miles away” Paul replied.  
“Is everything okay with Ben? He wasn’t ill on the flight or anything, was he?”  
“Uh… I think he’s okay” he frowned, having been sitting next to the younger man during the flight but not noticing anything off about his behaviour… aside from the obvious. Paul watched as Tim’s eyes shifted to Mark and Christian.  
“It’s uh not… that still… is it?” he asked in a whisper.  
Paul shrugged his shoulders; it wasn’t his place to discuss this, especially not with Tim.

At that moment, the door opened and Ben reappeared. His eyes scanned the room and lingered for the longest time on Mark and Christian. Paul watched him watch their friends and immediately knew what Tim had been talking about.  
A few months ago, Ben had fallen in love with Mark; maybe it wasn't really love, perhaps it was just a crush but whatever it was, Paul and Chris knew all about it. So did Tim and their other manager, Vicki; everybody knew all about it... Everybody except Mark that is who had no idea. It was no surprise that he was oblivious to Ben's feelings since the younger man had never spoken up about it. He hadn't openly confessed his feelings to anybody; it was just that his friends had put two-and-two together and successfully come up with four.

In his completely oblivious state, Mark continued to be Ben's best friend; they still hung out together, they continued to share a hotel room (when the occasion called for it) and they continued to write songs together. And as long as Mark kept turning to Ben first, Ben was fine… But in the weeks since Ben’s feelings had changed, Mark had started to turn to Christian instead. Now Ben liked Christian and they were good friends but every time Mark looked at, spoke to or smiled at him, Ben couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. 

Christian, of course, knew about Ben's crush but the four of them were friends, and it didn't occur to him that Mark spending time with him would bother the younger man. He hadn't even noticed Mark's actions nor did he know that Mark had, in some instances, started to neglect Ben.

Paul started towards Ben but the younger man turned on his heel and walked back to the seat he’d been in all morning, he sank down into it and stared down at his hands to avoid looking at Mark and Christian. As the minutes ticked by, Paul could care even less about what Tim was now saying and his attention turned completely to the opposite side of them room. It was now his turn to stare Mark and Chris; they were still sitting in the corner, neither one paying any attention to Tim but now Chris had given his guitar to Mark and was teaching him to play.  
Paul narrowed his eyes, staring at his friends. Mark was sitting on the couch, clutching Christians' guitar and trying hard to concentrate on what the older lad was saying… Chris was sitting half-behind Mark, his arms around his shoulders and his hands on top of Mark's. 

Paul watched as Christian's fingers curled around Mark's, showing him each chord. Every time Mark turned his head to look at Christian, their lips were mere centimetres apart and Paul felt his own jealousy almost hit breaking point. He realised that his friend’s actions had the same appeal as a train crash, he didn't want to look but he couldn't turn away.  
Mark's soft laugh cut through him like a knife that he had to avert his gaze and his eyes locked onto Ben. His young friend was also staring at their band mates. As Paul's eyes rested on Ben's face, he knew exactly how he felt but Ben's eyes were not only filled with anger and jealousy but also pain. The more he focused on Ben, the more he could see that the young boy was fighting back tears.

Fearing he’d officially lost the attention of all four singers, Tim adjourned the meeting but not before giving them a complete itinerary for the next few days. He handed Paul a map and a set of keys, explaining how to get to their rented apartment from here as it was only a five minute walk from the recording studio to their lodgings. Tim was thankful to see the back of them as they all filed out of the room. They were due to start in the recording studio in a couple of days and hopefully he’d make more of an impression upon them once they started doing what they were being paid to do.

They all headed down the stairs while Paul examined the map. It had been a weird decision to have them live together in an apartment while recording instead of in a hotel but it was a nice change of pace for once and allowed them time while not in the studio to work on new material and change things along the way.  
Their luggage had been dropped off from the airport while they had gone straight to the studio for a very unsuccessful meeting. Paul took the lead, Mark and Christian fell in behind him while Ben stayed further back. It didn’t take long for them to find the place and the four of them headed into the building, into the lift and up to their rented apartment. It wasn’t much to write home about but it was neat and comfortable and had four bedrooms.

Without a word, they each picked up their suitcases and started along the hall to call dibs on their rooms. Ben pushed open the first door he came to and went inside; he paused just in the doorway and looked up to see who had chosen the room next to his; Mark’s eyes met with his and they shared a smile. If they couldn’t share a room, being next door was almost as good.  
Ben opened his mouth to say something to him, maybe invite him in for a chat, but his words were drowned out by Christian.

"Hey," Christian called to Mark from across the hall. "You still want to practise?"  
"You bet" Mark replied. "Come on in"

Ben continued to stare; blinking back tears, as Mark held to door open for Christian then the couple disappeared into Mark's room and the door slid closed behind them. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or not, but he could’ve sworn he heard the lock turn. It too cut through him like a dagger and he hurried to close his own door before allowing the tears to fall.

_*_*_*_*_*_

Paul had also seen Christian going into Mark's room and he immediately fought back the urge to put his arm through the nearest wall. He locked himself in his own room then threw himself down on the bed in frustration. He couldn't really be mad at anyone since he too had kept his feelings to himself.   
The last thing he wanted was other people to find out about it, he didn't need people feeling sorry for him, the way they all felt for Ben. His feelings were his business and no one else needed to know about them; if he really was falling for one of his friends then it was his problem to deal with…But he just couldn't help himself. Whenever he saw Mark and Chris together, all he wanted to do was grab Mark by the throat and shout, "He's mine!" but Christian wasn’t his, no matter how much he wished it.

Paul sometimes wondered how different the situation would be if he told Mark about everything. What would happen if Mark knew that Paul had feelings for Christian? Would he back off and leave Christian to Paul?  
And what about Ben? Paul knew Mark had no idea about Ben's feelings and if he did know, would it change anything?  
If Paul clued Mark in on Ben's feelings, would it distract him enough to possibly draw his attention away from Christian? But if he did that then he would be betraying Ben and he knew he could never do that, he would never do anything to hurt Ben; and so he was on his own.

Paul rolled over and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was in an apartment somewhere in America; He wasn't sure where exactly, he just knew they were in the states and had had two layovers along the way. Paul liked America as it was a lot like home and the clubs were pretty good but he also knew that Ben wasn't a fan of the US. By US law, Ben wasn't old enough to go out and party and so he felt some sympathy towards his friend.  
While Paul, Mark and Christian could and often did go out, Ben was forced to remain in his room under the supervision of a security guard but Paul also knew why Ben was so annoyed about this arrangement as Mark was able to go out and flirt with anyone and everyone while Ben had to sit in his room and imagine the kinds of people that Mark would hit on and possibly hook up with.

Now Paul wasn't completely without heart. He had, on more than one occasion, considered staying in with Ben but that meant sending Mark and Christian out together… Just the two of them and Paul simply didn't trust Mark alone with Christian.

Paul was becoming agitated; he had to get out. He couldn't just sit in his room and sulk but Tim had placed them under 'apartment-arrest' until it was time to head to the studio the following day so they weren't allowed out yet he also knew that if he stayed in his room much longer, he would go out of his mind; he wouldn't survive the afternoon if he spent the whole time wondering what Mark and Christian were up to.

Paul sighed and stood up, grabbed a jacket and made his way to the door. He had to get out of here and fast.


	2. Chapter 2

Christian was sat on the edge of Mark's bed, gently strumming his guitar. He had started teaching Mark how to play some time ago and he’d been a very fast learner but it was still fun to practise. Chris was so engrossed with the tune he was playing that he didn’t notice that Mark had climbed onto the bed beside him and was watching him closely.  
It wasn’t until he reached the end of the song that he realized Mark was acting a little off, distracted even. Great, first Paul and now Mark? For the briefest moment, he wondered if anything was going on between the two of them.

Mark noticed that Christian had stopped playing so he shifted his position until he was sitting behind him then he reached out and softly began to massage his shoulders. For some odd reason, Christian appeared to be very tense so Mark took his time to ease up those muscles; several minutes passed before he finally began to loosen up. Mark reached up and took the guitar from his friend, carefully set it aside before continuing the massage. He cast his gaze to the mirror and saw he’d closed his eyes then Chris gently leaned back and rested his body against Mark’s.

A few more minutes of silence passed before Mark had an idea; it wasn't so much an idea, more of an urge, one he’d been fighting for some time and only now decided to give into. He slowly leaned forward, bringing his lips closer to Christian's exposed neck but before Mark could kiss his skin, Christian spoke up.

"Is there something going on that I should know about?" Christian asked him. His question caused Mark to pause.  
"What do you mean?" Mark asked.  
"You and Paul"  
"What about me and Paul?"  
"Are the two of you....?"  
“Two of us, what?”  
“Uh… dating?”  
"What? No! Why would you think that?"  
"Well, the two of you have been acting... I don't know... Weird? And I guess I just wanted to know if there was a reason, a connection"

"Maybe he's jealous" Mark suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.  
"Jealous... Of what?" Christian asked, confused.  
"The amount of time we've been spending together. I mean, the two of you used to be very close"  
"I could say the same about you and Ben"

Mark fell silent; He’d seen the division appearing between Paul and Christian but couldn’t tell anyone the reason for the one separating him and Ben.

"I guess you're right" Mark said in defeat. "Ben and I have grown apart"  
"I thought the two of you were close" Christian stated.  
"We were… Then one day we started to drift apart"  
“Oh? Why is that, do you think?”  
“Uh” Mark panicked. He couldn’t let on.  
“It’s not too late to fix it” Chris tried to help “maybe you should talk to him?"  
"I will. When I get the chance"  
"Why don't you go now? He’s just next door… We can finish this later"

Mark paused. He did need to talk to Ben but what was Christian trying to say? They could finish this later... Finish what? The guitar lesson? The massage? Was he hinting at something else?

"Uh, yeah” he agreed “I think I should. You don't mind?"  
"Why would I?"  
“Well, you and I were…”

Christian laughed and waved him off. Mark carefully got up and headed for the door, wondering what exactly to say to Ben.

_*_*_*_*_*_

Ben was sitting on his bed, staring at the TV but not really paying attention to it because Christian was in the room next door, all alone with Mark. What were they doing in there? Ben had been attempting to eavesdrop but all he had been able to hear was the guitar so he had turned the TV on in a bid to distract himself.

KNOCK! KNOCK!  
He sighed and climbed off the bed, walked over to the door, and was surprised to find Paul standing out in the hall.

"Hey" Paul greeted him.  
"Hey" Ben replied.  
"Can I come in?"  
"Sure"

Ben stepped aside and allowed Paul to enter the room. He closed the door behind him and turned around. Paul appeared agitated and Ben felt sympathetic; he knew what that felt like as he had been feeling the same way ever since he had seen Christian disappear into Mark's room, seen the door close behind them, heard the lock effectively shutting everyone else out.

"What's up?" Ben asked Paul.  
"I don't know" Paul began, nervously. "I guess I have a problem"  
"What kind of problem?"  
"Your kind"  
"What?"

Paul sighed. He had no intention of telling anybody about his feelings but he knew that Ben would understand, Ben had to know how he felt because the way Ben felt for Mark was exactly how Paul felt for Christian.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately" Paul said as he moved closer to his friend.  
"Well, don't strain yourself" Ben didn’t mean to sound to snarky.  
"Hey, I came to you for help"  
"I’m sorry"  
"It’s okay... Let me break it down for you... I'm in love"  
"What?" Ben frowned, wondering who Paul had possibly fallen for.  
"Okay, maybe not love… But I have a crush; I'm head-over-heels infatuated… I'm lusting for someone"  
"Who?"  
"And the only reason I'm telling you, is because I know that you have these feelings too"

Ben took a slight step back. Was Paul hinting at something? Was Paul hitting on him? He instantly decided that no matter what Paul had to say, he wouldn't react... Nothing would ever change his feelings for Mark.

"I'm in love with Christian" Paul stated.  
"Really?" Ben asked as he jaw dropped; he hadn't expected that!  
"I... I can't handle this anymore. I'm in love with Christian and I am experiencing extreme hatred towards Mark... And, I know that you're in love with Mark and must be experiencing some major hatred towards Christian"  
"I... How do you know this?" Ben felt the fear and panic rising inside him. If Paul had somehow figured it out, had Mark?

“I have eyes, Ben… It’s clear to everyone except Mark that you’re in love with him” Paul admitted. "I've been lusting over Christian for some time now but recently I started to become aware and… I'm afraid that Mark is too and even though Mark is my friend, I don't want him making a play for Christian"  
"But what can we do?" Ben asked. His mind was still spinning, Paul knew about his feelings for Mark? Paul had feelings for Christian? Paul was gay? "I mean, if you want Chris and I want Mark... But they want each other, there's nothing we can do... If they want to be together, we can't stop them"

Paul sat down on Ben's bed and paused. Ben was right; he couldn't make Christian love him anymore than Ben could make Mark love him.  
"Do you really think Mark wants Christian?" Ben asked very quietly, his voice beginning to tremble.

Paul slowly looked up at Ben; his young friend was frozen to the spot but his lower lip was slightly trembling and his eyes were slowly filling with tears. Paul instantly felt guilty; he had no right to lay all this on Ben. He stood up and walked over to the younger boy, wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.  
"I'm so sorry, Ben" Paul whispered. "I shouldn't have said anything"

He slowly began to lead Ben over to the bed and the two of them sat down. Paul left his arms around Ben, desperately wanting to make things better.

"I should have known that he'd never want me" Ben sobbed.  
"What are you talking about?" Paul asked, appalled.  
"When Mark wasn't interested in anyone, I could convince myself that one day he'd turn around and want to be with me but now that he's found someone else, he'll never give me a second glance"

"Hey"  
Paul pulled away from Ben and placed his hand on his cheek; he looked him straight in the eyes and spoke very calmly.  
"Don't you dare talk like that" Paul told him. "You are an amazing person and Mark has no idea what he's missing by not being with you; he’d be so lucky to have you"  
"But he wants Christian not me. Are you going to tell me that if you had the choice between Christian and me that you'd choose me?"  
"If I was Mark, I would"

Without thinking, Paul slowly leaned forward and captured Ben's lips with his own. It was an odd feeling indeed. Paul had never kissed a guy before. Until he’d fallen for Christian, he had never wanted to; he wasn't even sure why he was kissing Ben… Or why Ben was kissing him in return.   
He felt Ben's mouth opening and he dared to slide his tongue inside. His mouth melted with Ben's and he lay down on the bed, pulling the younger boy down with him. He’d never kissed a guy before so he wasn’t sure if he was any good at it though if he ever wanted a shot with Chris, he should probably know the best way to kiss and touch a man, to know he was comfortable with the idea.

Ben pulled away from Paul and stared down at him; Paul stared back, afraid that he had done something wrong.

"Should you have done that?" Ben asked him.  
"I... I don't know" Paul confessed. "I’ve never kissed a guy before"  
“Oh? How was it?”  
“Different”  
“Different good? Different bad?”  
“I don’t know… Just, different… And if I say different bad then wouldn’t I be implying that you’re a bad kisser?”  
“Maybe you’re the bad kisser”  
“I’ll have you know, I happen to have mad kissing skills”  
“Oh yeah?”  
“Yeah”

Paul reached up, slid his hand behind Ben’s neck and pulled him back down for another kiss. Their lips parted, their tongues melded together and both moaned into the deep kiss.

“Told you so” Paul whispered when they finally parted.  
"Did you want to stop?" Ben asked, nervously. It had been so long since he’d been kissed like that.  
"I uh I don’t know… Do you?"  
"I don't know"  
"Well, I guess I could use the practise… on a guy, I mean"  
Paul's lips found Ben's again and their hands began to fumble with the other’s clothes, neither one knowing why they were so eager to rip the other’s clothes off.

But that was the position they were in when Mark opened the door.


	3. Chapter 3

After Mark opened the door and spotted Ben and Paul, Christian had appeared and also seen their band mates. Paul and Ben quickly separated as an awkward silence filled the room.  
Paul had been the first to leave by simply standing up and walking out of the room without any explanation. Christian immediately followed but didn't speak to him. Mark had remained in the doorway to Ben's room, staring at his best friend in confusion but Ben hadn't been able to speak at all as he felt terrible; the only person he had ever loved had caught him making out with another guy. Mark shook his head in disbelief and closed the door before returning to his room.  
And the four of them hadn't spoken about it since.

****

When Paul walked into the kitchen the following morning, he passed by Mark who was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and he immediately knew something had changed; he just couldn’t put his finger on what. Was it Mark's feelings for Ben? His feelings for Christian?  
Paul silently prayed his actions hadn't ruined things for Ben and Mark but he also prayed that they hadn't sent Mark straight into Christian's arms either.

Paul had been around and had his fair share of relationships but they had all been with women. Until yesterday, he'd never even kissed a guy before; he didn't know how to attract a guy, how to make a guy want him. Had never cared about any of that because he’d never wanted a man before… He kinda still didn’t. He didn’t want just any guy, he only wanted Christian. He needed to find a way to attract Christian, to make Christian want him; he didn't want to come out and say it though because he wasn't good at expressing his feelings.  
He had considered it; had practised several attempts in his head but the best he’d come up with was "You're sexy and I want to fuck you"  
He wanted to slide his hand inside Christian's boxers and make him hard, make him moan, make him come but first he needed to know how to get to that stage.

Unfortunately for Paul, Mark did know how to get to that level of intimacy. While Paul had had relationship after relationship with girl after girl, Mark had played the field. He had tested the waters and had his way with many girls and guys. He knew what he was doing; he knew what he wanted and exactly how to get it. Paul had seen Mark at work and he had game… There was no way Paul could ever compete with that!

When Christian walked into the room both Mark and Paul were still avoiding looking at each other but they were both eager to know who Christian would address first. He bested them by stating 'good morning' in general then walked over to where Paul was sitting on the couch. Chris sat down beside him and engaged in a conversation; one of which Paul didn't pay any attention to because all he seemed to acknowledge was the fact that Christian had come to him first… Chris had bypassed Mark and come straight to Paul. 

Christian been awake half the night as he’s tossed and turned, his mind had gone over the past few weeks and he’d realized something had changed. He had been starting to suspect that Paul had been questioning his sexuality; he’d even started to think that Paul had maybe even had feelings for him but seeing Paul with Ben had completely blindsided him. Ben was in love with Mark, so why would he have been making out with Paul of all people?   
He’d lain awake in bed; wishing things could just go back to normal… To the way it had been when they had all been friends, to before Ben had developed his crush on Mark and Paul's feelings towards men had changed; he wanted everything back the way it was but he had no idea how to do that.  
So he kept calm and tried to keep it as normal as possible. He walked over to Paul and started talking to him, just like old times. 

It was morning, a new day and the four of them seemed to have all put aside what had happened between Ben and Paul. They had all, by unspoken agreement, put it behind them and acted like it hadn't happened. Paul was still lost in conversation with Christian about who knew what when Mark swept over and injected his opinion. In less than a minute, he had pulled Christian's attention away from Paul.

But before Paul could open his mouth to say something to Christian, Mark had swept in and was now leading him out of the room as the two of them were off to 'rehearse' some more.

Paul watched them leave with anger and hurt in his heart. He clenched his fist and told himself to remain calm; he looked up just as Ben entered the room and from the look on his face he had seen Mark and Christian together.

"Are you okay?" Paul asked him.  
"Yeah" Ben replied.  
“You?”  
“I’ve been better… Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday"  
"So am I. Do you think we're the reason Mark's going to fuck Christian?"  
"What?"

"What we did yesterday" Ben continued. "Do you think that because Mark saw us together, that he thought he could fuck Christian?"  
Paul stared at Ben in shock since that thought really hadn't occurred to him but now that Ben pointed it out he wasn't going to rule it out. He realized that this possibility was really bothering Ben; he knew it because he had never heard his young friend swear before.

"You..." Paul began. "You really think they're going to..."  
"I don't know" Ben admitted. "I just… maybe"  
"What makes you think they are?"  
"Because Mark had that look"  
"What look?"  
"The look he gets in his eye when he wants something... or someone. He has a glint in his eye just before he gets laid and for a few hours afterward"  
"And he's never looked at you like that?"  
"I wish” Ben averted his gaze “if he ever looked at me like that... He wouldn't even have to touch me. I think I'm come on the spot"

Paul reached out and placed his hand upon Ben’s shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

"You know, they look good together," Ben stated. "They'd make a good couple"  
"I know" Paul hated to admit it. He was starting to wish none of this had happened. If he had just sat down and told Christian how he felt... And if he'd given Mark a little shove in Ben's direction... All this could have been avoided.  
But all they could do now was wait and see what happened next.

_*_*_

Mark pushed open the door to his room and ushered Christian inside. However, the older lad paused and frowned in confusion.  
"What's wrong?" Mark asked him.  
"Shouldn't I get my guitar?" Christian asked.  
"You won't need it"

Mark turned around and disappeared into his room. Christian paused for a moment then followed him inside, he sank down on the bed while Mark closed the door.  
"Is there something bothering you?" Mark asked as he turned around.  
"Uh..." Christian stammered.

The truth was Christian didn't know what to say. Yes something was bothering him but he didn't know if he wanted to tell Mark about it. He was confused; Paul had been acting strange around him and he had started to wonder if Paul had feelings for him but then he’d seen Paul with Ben and everything had changed again.

He opened his mouth to speak but he was cut off by Mark kissing him. It was a soft, gentle yet also forceful kiss; exactly the way Christian liked it and suddenly he found himself returning the kiss. His mind had completely shut down and his body was taking control as he felt his cock twitch and begin to harden at just the taste of Mark's lips.  
By now he was beyond confused. He had spent the entire night tossing and turning; try as he might, he couldn't shake the memory of seeing Ben and Paul kissing. He had been wondering what it felt like to kiss another man and now here he was, kissing one of his best friends.

In his state of confusion, he hadn't noticed that Mark had begun to unzip his jeans. It wasn't until he felt Mark's hand on his crotch that he awoke from his trance.

"Mark?" Christian whispered. "What are you doing?"  
"Shhhh; you trust me, don't you?"  
"Yes but should we really-"  
“I can’t think of a single reason we shouldn’t, can you?”

But Mark’s hand was now inside his underwear and Christian couldn’t think straight anymore. He shook his head, no, and closed his eyes, groaned as Mark touched him.


	4. Chapter 4

When Christian returned to his room, his confusion had grown exponentially. If he had thought he was confused before, that was nothing compared to how he felt now. The more he thought about it, the more confused he became; he had thought Mark was going to help him.   
When Mark had suggested they go and rehearse, he had jumped at the chance because rehearsing was a nice way to escape real life. He had wanted to forget about the past few days and do nothing but play music, maybe finish another song or two for the album.   
But Mark had wanted a different kind of rehearsal.

Christian sighed and threw himself down on his bed. He could still feel Mark's lips on his; he had never kissed a guy before and he was surprised to learn that kissing a man wasn't that different from kissing a girl. Well, it wasn't that different but it wasn't that similar either. He’d been with a few girls in his life but not a lot and the ones he had been with were small and beautiful. They had long, soft hair and many curves; they were always unsure at first and nervous about what to do, how to touch him.  
Mark had known and he hadn't been nervous; Mark knew exactly how to touch him and Christian had never had a guy touch him; not there and he'd never touched a guy there, either. Being with Mark had opened his eyes; it had been a strange and exciting experience. Being with, and touching, Mark... Touching Mark's naked body... Touching Mark's cock; Feeling it hard and hot in his hand… He’d never even thought about touching another man before but it had come so naturally to him, stroking his cock and bringing him closer and closer to the edge was something he did to himself all the time. It gave him a strange feeling of euphoria to know that he’d been in complete control of Mark’s body and had made his friend come with barely the flick of his wrist.

Christian rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. He could still feel Mark's body on top of his; it had felt good... It had felt very good and now he was more confused than ever. 

_*_*_*_*_*_

About an hour later, Christian found the courage to drag himself out of his room. He wandered down the hall and into the living room where he found Mark sitting on the couch watching TV. He bypassed the room and went straight to the kitchen where he spent the next few minutes making himself a cup of coffee but didn’t offer one to Mark. He returned to the living room and walked over to the opposite couch; he sank down in the chair and tried so hard not to look at his friend. His eyes flickered as Mark picked up the remote and began to scroll through the channels. Those long fingers had been wrapped around his cock, his fingernails had scraped the skin and Chris had bit his lips to stop himself from screaming in delight. He forced a sip of his steaming hot drink and welcomed the burning sensation as a distraction from his sexual thoughts about his friend.

They both heard a door open and a moment later, Paul entered the room. He saw his two friends sitting very far apart, ignoring each other and he wondered what had happened but he was too afraid to ask.

"What are you watching?" Paul decided to play it safe.  
"Dunno" Mark replied.  
"Then why are you watching it?"  
"Got nothing better to do"

"Well, if you've had your fun with Christian..." Paul began. "And you need another fuck toy, Ben's in his room"  
"What?" Mark asked him.  
"Ben?" Christian whispered. Paul scoffed in annoyance then turned on his heel and marched out of the room.

By now, Christian didn't even care what was on TV or about the coffee in his hand. All he could think about was Ben. He wished he had of thought about him before; he had known all along how Ben felt about Mark but he had been selfish. He’d known how Ben felt but he had grasped Mark's dick anyway and how on earth did Paul know about it?  
Christian felt sick to his stomach, Mark had asked for a single reason for them to not fool around… Christian should have said just one word ‘Ben’ but he hadn’t and now he’d betrayed his friend. He’d hurt both Mark and Ben… Hurt Mark by getting off with him despite not actually having feelings for him and hurt Ben by getting off with someone the younger lad did have feelings for.

Mark had also forgotten all about the TV. Paul's words were swimming around his head. What had made Paul say such a thing? It was a cruel taunt, making him think Ben would actually be interested in him. Mark no longer understood his own feelings. Yes, he had gotten off with Christian though his heart truly, secretly, belonged to Ben. But he had seen Ben making out with Paul. If Ben had been harbouring some sort of feelings for Mark, why would he make out with Paul? Could it be the same reason Mark had made out with Christian?

_*_*_*_*_*_

Christian paused outside the door to Paul's room and contemplated knocking or simply barging in. He knew he should be polite and knock but he was mad at Paul for his comment about Ben. Paul had had no right to tell Mark to go fuck Ben and he deserved to be told off for it. He finally raised his fist but couldn't bring himself to knock.

"Looking for me?" Paul asked, as he suddenly appeared behind Christian.  
"I... uh..." Christian stammered. "I… "  
Paul reached up and opened the door.  
"You want to come inside?" he asked.  
Christian hesitated for a second before giving in and following Paul into his room. He pushed the door closed in case they started yelling at each other.

“What were you thinking?” Chris snapped “telling Mark to use Ben as a sex toy?”  
“Why not?” Paul argued “it’s what Ben wants, isn’t it?”  
“Ben’s in love with Mark, not exactly the same thing”  
“Are you in love with Mark?”  
“What? He’s one of my best friends”  
“That’s not an answer”

"Are you angry at me?" Christian asked him, partially changing the subject.  
"Angry? At you?" Paul asked. "For what? For getting it on with Mark?"  
"Yeah" Christian replied.  
"Why should I be? Because I didn't know you wanted him?"  
"I didn't know I wanted him!"

However, Paul wasn't listening, he was too annoyed.  
"Just because he can walk on in, flirt with you and get you naked.... And I've been waiting for you since the first time we met?"   
Christian froze and stared at Paul in shock. Paul had wanted him all along? He continued staring at Paul but couldn't bring himself to speak. It hadn’t been his imagination; Paul really did have feelings for him… or did he?

“No, you couldn’t possibly have been wanting me for that long!” Chris insisted.  
“And why would you think that?”  
“Because I know you; there’s no fucking way you could keep a secret like that for this long”  
He didn’t move as Paul moved closer to him; he felt Paul’s hand on the back of his neck, holding him firmly in place. Paul was very close now… A little too close.

"How could you let him fuck you when you never let me?" Paul hissed in his ear, sending a violent shiver down Chris's spine. "And since you did let him, then you should let me too"   
"I..." Christian's voice caught in his throat and he found it hard to speak and near impossible to breathe.  
"What did he do to you?" Paul asked. "What did you let him do to you?" 

"Paul" Christian’s voice faltered.  
"What did he do to you?" Paul hissed in his ear,  
"He just touched me… we jacked each other"   
“Is that all?”  
“Yes”  
"Did he kiss you?"  
"Yes"   
"Did he suck you off?"   
"Paul!"   
"Did he suck you?"  
"No"  
"Then I will" 

\------

Sometime later, Christian was lying naked in Paul's bed; he closed his eyes and could still taste Paul's come, could still feel the throb of Paul's cock in his mouth. He'd never tasted semen before and now he had. Not only had he tasted Paul's but he’d also sampled his own, in Paul’s mouth.  
He had put Paul's cock in his mouth and sucked it; he had made him come and he’d had Paul's cum in his mouth. He could still taste it...could still feel it rolling down his throat.

He sighed and rolled over; he couldn't stay here any longer. Paul sensed Christian's movements and opened his eyes. Christian sat up and glanced around the room, trying to locate his clothes. He could see his pants on the floor but couldn’t reach them without getting up so he slowly started to move but Paul reached out, grabbed his arm, stopping him.  
"Don't go" he pleaded.  
"But what if Ben needs a good-night shag?" Christian asked. "I'm making the rounds today. The official a1 whore"  
"Leave Ben to Mark" Paul replied. "Besides, it's not like that and you're not a whore"  
Paul tightened his grip and he tried to pull him back down.

Christian quickly pulled his arm free, breaking Paul's grip. Suddenly, he had no idea what to do; he couldn't bring himself to be mad at Paul and he couldn't hit him either but he also had to fight the urge to lie back down beside Paul's warm, naked body.  
"Don't ruin this Paul" Christian said as he climbed off the bed.  
"Ruin what?" Paul asked as Christian located his pants and pulled them on.  
"Everything" Christian replied. "We're friends, Paul. Nothing more. Why are you doing this? What are you thinking?"  
"What are you talking about?" Paul asked.

Christian put his arms into his shirt and began to do the buttons up.  
"Are you jealous? Is that what this is about? You're jealous because Mark made out with me? Because I was with Mark and Ben wants Mark and you weren’t getting any?"  
"It's not like that"  
"Why did you make out with Ben? Because you felt like you were missing out?"  
"No; I don't know. Ben was upset and I was comforting him; it was strictly a comfort thing... There is nothing between me and Ben. I want you and he wants Mark"

"God!" Christian stated. "Why can't we just turn back time?"  
"You mean to before this or before you and Mark...?" Paul questioned him.  
"Why can't things just go back to the way they were? The way it was before you fell for me and Ben fell for Mark. Can't we all just be friends again?"  
"We can't turn back the hands of time" Paul told him.  
"I know" Christian replied.  
"Stay" Paul said, reaching across the mattress and grabbing Christian's hand. "Stay with me"

Christian's brain was shouting at him to leave, to get out of there but his body was frozen. Paul moved closer and pulled Christian back onto the bed then Paul kissed him and Christian's brain shut down completely as Paul's tongue made love to his mouth.  
And Christian couldn't say no... Not even if he wanted to… but he didn't want to.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben sat on the bed in his room, staring aimlessly out the window. They were staying on the fifteenth floor, were directly across the street from a beach therefore, the view was incredible. Not that Ben really saw any of it.  
He was trying hard not to think about anything at all but he couldn't just sit there and think about nothing. If he didn't think about something, he would become engrossed with picturing Mark doing unimaginable things to Christian. The sort of unimaginable things he wanted Mark to do to him.

He sat, frozen to the spot, as he tried to imagine his future. Tomorrow he’d have to go into the studio and watch Mark and Christian together. It would be like a dagger in his heart but the only way to not have to see them was to quit the band which was something he couldn’t do. He could never leave; he couldn't just walk out on his friends and that scenario left him remaining in the group while Mark fucked Christian every night.   
He was already envisioning lying in a hotel room, crying into his pillow and listening to Mark and Christian fucking loudly in the next room.

A knock at the door broke his train of thought and he dragged his attention away from the window.  
"It's open" Ben replied, somewhat dejectedly.

The door opened and he turned to find Mark standing in the doorway. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, quietly locking it. Mark walked over to the bed and knelt down in front of his young friend. Ben opened his mouth to say something but Mark reached out and placed his finger on Ben's lips, effectively silencing him.

"Shhh" Mark whispered.  
Mark softly ran his finger across Ben's soft, pink lips then he brushed his hand along his cheek and tucked one of Ben's curtains behind his ear.  
Mark didn't speak to Ben and Ben didn't speak to Mark. His heart was racing as he gazed into the deep, searching eyes of his best friend then Mark leaned forward and kissed him. Mark captured Ben's lips in a slow, deep, passionate kiss.

His entire body began to tremble as Mark climbed onto the bed, straddling Ben’s thighs and deepening their kiss. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and could feel his heart beating rapidly against his chest. Mark pushed Ben down onto the mattress and continued kissing him all the while, his hands were busy separating Ben from his clothes at the same time, Ben worked equally hard to yank Mark’s clothes free of his body and within minutes, they were both naked.

While Ben was inexperienced when it came to sex, Mark knew exactly what he was doing. He knew where to kiss him and where to touch him; a small gasp escaped Ben's lips as Mark touched him in such an intimate place; Ben had never had anyone touch him there, he hadn't even touched himself there but Mark knew what he was doing and Ben trusted him. He had wanted this for a long, long time.

"Do you trust me?" Mark whispered his first words since coming into the room.  
"Of course I do" Ben replied. "I love you"  
Ben felt his cheeks begin to flush with embarrassment at having just told Mark that his loved him but Mark simply smiled then leaned down and pressed his lips against Ben's. The violation of Mark's fingers was intense; it felt strange yet fulfilling. Mark’s fingers teased him until he was begging, begging him for more; then the fingers were gone and being replaced by Mark's rock hard cock.  
Mark was entering him, forcing himself deep inside the younger boy. Yet Ben was ready for him, he was open and willing; he had wanted this all along and he was finally getting it.

When Mark pushed into him and reached his orgasm, the two were forever bound together by this display of affection for each other. After their intense lovemaking, they fell asleep in each other's arms, both relaxed and content. However, when Ben awoke the following morning, Mark was gone and he was all alone.

_*_*_*_*_*_

Christian was afraid to open his eyes. From fear of waking up in Paul's bed. He was trapped with no way out. It was a strange feeling, waking up in someone else's bed.  
Sure, he'd slept in other people's beds before but this time it was different. This time he was waking up in a guy's bed... He was waking up in a guy's arms. And not just any guy, one of his best friends. One of his friends who he happened to work with every day of his life. So not only had he gotten off with his best friend but he'd also spent the night in his bed.

However, it was morning now and he was trapped. What had happened between them was in the past and he had two options. He could stay here until he died or the bed ate him whole. Or he could get up and get on with his life... Get on with his life by pretending nothing had happened.

Christian had no idea what time it was but he didn't care. He could feel Paul's body in the bed beside him and he froze. He had to get out of there... Preferably before Paul awoke.  
"Morning" Paul greeted him. Christian cursed under his breath.  
"Morning" Christian replied, flatly.

Christian shifted his gaze and found himself staring directly at the door... His escape route. If he hurried, he could get away, out the door and down the hall to his own room but then he ran the risk of being caught naked in the hall by Mark or Ben.  
He had, at one point, been wearing his clothes but then Paul had gotten to him. Paul had reeled him back in and pinned him to the bed. Christian lay on the bed below Paul and allowed him to slowly undress him. As each piece of clothing was discarded, Paul had used his tongue to claim that part of Christian's flesh.

His experience with Paul had been different to his encounter with Mark. With Mark, he'd known that Mark was trying to seduce him. He just hadn’t understood why but with Paul... With Paul it had been about possession. It had been about Paul's need for possession of Christian and his body.

Paul had shed Christian's clothes in record time and it wasn't long before he had the blonde pinned to the bed, naked, beneath him. Paul had pinned him down and kissed him; kissed him hard, deep and fast and Christian had surprised himself by keeping up with Paul's frantic and desperate pace.  
Paul had then used this opportunity to grab Christian's cock in his hand on pump his hardness; He’d looked Christian directly in the eyes and simply whispered "You're hard for me"  
Then there was no turning back; Christian had taken the bait, hook, line and sinker. He couldn't leave now. He couldn’t ever leave.

"Christian?" Paul asked, pulling him out of his memory.  
"What?"  
"I need use the bathroom. Don't go anywhere"   
"Kay"   
"Good" 

Paul shifted his weight and pulled away from Christian, taking his body warmth with him. He felt the bed shift as Paul stood up and he waited until the door had closed, then he jumped up and began the frantic search for his clothes. He could hear Paul in the bathroom and paused as the memory washed over him but he lingered too long; the toilet flushed and the bathroom door opened. Christian pulled his shirt on and he felt the tension in the room thicken. Paul stepped up to him and wrapped his arms around him. Christian felt himself giving in and, closing his eyes, he returned the embrace. Paul felt so safe and secure. He breathed deep, taking in Paul's scent.

NO! He was getting caught in the moment. He had been leaving and now Paul was trying to reel him back in; again! Well, it wasn't going to work this time. Paul's closeness and touch was already having an effect on him and he prayed Paul wouldn't notice.  
"Nice to see you’re ‘up’ this early" Paul teased him.   
Christian sighed. 'Shit. He'd noticed'   
"You're hard for me… You want me to get you off?" 

He felt gentle fingertips against his cheek as Paul's fingers ran down his face.   
"If you open your eyes I'll give you a blow job."   
'No' Christian reasoned. He wasn't going to get suckered in again.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at Paul.  
"Knew you couldn't resist" Paul stated.  
"No" Christian stated. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake"  
"What? With me?"  
"No. I haven't been thinking straight"  
"You got that right or you wouldn't be here with me"  
"I didn't mean to hurt Ben... With Mark. I knew how Ben felt but I did it anyway. You think he'll forgive me?"  
"Maybe... Do you still want Mark?"  
"I never wanted him in the first place"  
"So I guess if you tell him that and that you're with me now"  
"With you? I'm not with you"  
"Then how the hell do you explain last night?"  
"I don't know. I just need some time to think about this and work out how I feel. Can you do that for me? Give me some time and some space?"

Paul paused for a moment, thinking.  
"How long do I have to wait for you?" Paul asked.  
"How long are you willing to wait?" Christian replied.  
"As long as I have to"


	6. Chapter 6

Christian returned to his own room to shower and change then he stepped out into the hall at the same time as Paul. They shared an awkward smile as they started towards the Kitchen and went inside. Both were surprised to find Ben sitting at the table.

"Morning" Paul greeted him; he hoped he sounded normal enough.   
"Where's Mark?" Chris asked him.

Paul shot a look at Christian and reminded himself to control his jealousy; Mark had to be out of the picture now, Christian belonged to Paul.  
"Is that really important right now?" Paul couldn’t resist asking him.  
"God, jealous much!" Christian stated. "Listen, Mark and I are friends and we got off together. You've never just made out for the sake of making out?"   
"Is that what we just did?" Paul asked.  
“Isn’t that what you did with Ben?”

He noticed their younger band mate flinched at this remark and he immediately felt bad.  
"Ben, where's Mark?" Christian asked him again.  
Ben simply shrugged in defeat.   
"We had sex then he left"   
"He..." Christian paused, very confused. "Ben?"   
"Last night," Ben said, not looking at him. "He came to my room and he fucked me. When I woke up, he was gone"  
"Bastard" Paul stated.  
"Just like that, he left?" Christian asked.   
"I’m sure he'll be back at some point" Ben was trying so desperately hard not to cry.   
"Oh, that makes it all better," Paul stated. "What's Mark doing, making the rounds?" he added but neither Christian nor Ben was listening to him.   
"Are you okay?" Christian asked Ben, worried about his young friend.

"Who told him?" Ben asked, looking up at them; his big brown eyes full of pain and unshed tears. "I know one of you told him"   
"Told him what?" Christian asked.   
"That I wanted him to fuck me. I know he didn't figure it out on his own and I sure as hell didn't tell him"   
"Uh, I think that was me" Paul confessed. "I'm so sorry Ben, I didn't have the right but I was jealous of him and Christian" 

"God, would you just get over it?" Christian snapped. "Mark jerked me off, you got to sleep with me, you win."   
"Do you want him?"   
“Why do you keep asking me that? You’re like a fucking broken record”  
"Are you going to go back to him?"   
"I wasn't with him! All we did was jack each other! It's not like it meant anything!" 

"Did last night mean anything to you?" Paul asked in earnest. "Did it mean anything when I touched you?"   
Christian paused, afraid to answer him. However, Ben answered for him.  
"Don't worry about it, Chris. Mark came to me for what you wouldn't give him."   
"What are you talking about?" Christian asked him.  
“I told you, Mark and I had sex last night. He fucked me good and hard, kinda hurts to walk this morning”  
"He really did you," Paul asked, slowly. "You’re no longer a virgin"   
"And he just up and left you?" Chris asked.   
"He got what he wanted," Paul said. "Why stay?" 

"Mark's our friend," Christian said. "Don't be a bastard"   
"Me? He’s the one who screwed Ben and just walked out," Paul said. "And now you're defending him?"  
"Everyone makes mistakes in their lives"  
"And I guess you'd be the expert on making mistakes"

"GOD!" Christian shouted. "I'm sorry, okay?" he turned his attention to Ben. "I'm sorry that I was with Mark yesterday. I had no right to do what I did, especially when I knew how you felt about him"   
"It's okay" Ben replied and Christian turned to Paul.  
"I'm sorry for getting it off with Mark. When I went to see him, I had no idea that's what he wanted and I'm sorry if I mistreated you along the way. I'm so confused right now and I have no idea what's going on inside my heart or my heart. I’m sorry, okay? I’m just… I’m sorry!"

*

Christian stormed off, right out the front door and down to the street. He didn't know how much longer he could go on like this. With each passing minute, he became more and more confused. Nothing made sense anymore and he didn't understand why. He needed to clear his head.

"Christian?"  
He stopped and turned around in time to see Tim coming towards him.  
"Morning Tim" Christian greeted him.  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
"For a walk… it’s been a tough few days"  
“Well, don’t go far; you’re needed in the studio in about an hour”  
“Okay”

Christian turned and crossed the street, heading for the beach. He sighed as he sat down on the sand buried his face in his hands. What the hell was going on? When did everything become so complicated? Why did everything have to become so complicated? Where had Mark disappeared to? Why did Mark sleep with Ben? Why had Mark hit on him? Where did Paul come in to all this? And why was Paul jealous?

Christian sighed and his mind filled with images of Paul. He could still feel Paul's hands on his skin and when Paul kissed him, the world came to a stand-still. Paul's kisses had been soft and gentle and they had made him hot, made him hard, drove him crazy.  
When Paul kissed him, Christian lost all self-control. His mind turned to putty and his body surrendered to Paul; Christian's body had quickly fallen in love with Paul. He had been so gentle and caring; so loving and tender. He hadn't wanted to fight him, he’d just wanted to surrender to Paul's touch and allow Paul to do whatever he wanted to him.

He was desperate to know where these feelings were coming from. He had never wanted Paul before.   
He knew how Ben felt about Mark but he had never felt that way about Paul... Was he starting to feel something now? It had felt good with Mark, making out, getting off, messing around with his friend but it had been temporary. It hadn't been real. Was this real? Did he really want Paul? Did he get hard for Paul? He never had before, not once... until last night.

Last night... Last night he had said things to Paul that he wouldn't normally say... Especially not to another man. On the other hand, Paul had said some things too. Most of it was typical things that people always said when they were getting it on; like how good it felt and how much he wanted him but Paul appeared to mean it.   
When Paul had spoken to him, he had looked him straight in the eye. It hadn't sounded corny or stupid, it had sounded real and full of honesty which led to Christian to believe that Paul really did want him. Then there was the insane jealousy Paul was directing at him and Mark… That was pretty double standard considering Mark had busted Paul making out with Ben!

He felt a shadow, sensed someone standing before him and he opened his eyes to find Mark standing over him. His friend sat down in the sand beside him without waiting for an invite.  
"Hey, Christian" Mark greeted him. "What are you doing out here?"   
“I needed to clear my head… Where have you been?"   
"Everywhere… I just had to get out. Why did you need your head cleared?"  
“Paul’s driving me nuts”  
"Have uh... Have you seen Ben this morning?" Mark sounded nervous.  
"Yeah" Chris admitted.  
"Did he... Say anything to you?"  
"He did"  
"And?"  
"And what? It's none of my business but you two did or didn’t do last night… But he's still upstairs if you want to go talk to him"  
"Thanks." Mark smiled at Christian as he got to his feet "about yesterday... I'm sorry"  
"So am I"  
“We’re uh we’re okay though, aren’t we?”  
“We’ll always be friends, Mark, no matter what”  
   
_*_*_*_*_*_

Mark paused just outside the door to Ben’s room then slowly raised his fist and knocked. When he received no reply, he reached out and grabbed the handle, turned and opened the door. Ben was sitting in the middle of the bed, hugging his pillow to his chest.

"Hi" Mark began. "Can I come in?"  
"What? You have to ask now?" Ben asked him, pushing the pillow aside.  
"I was being polite"

Mark walked into the room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and sat down beside Ben. He reached out to place his hand on Ben's shoulder but the younger boy pulled away.

"Are you in love with me?" Mark asked him.  
"You wish" Ben replied, refusing to look at Mark.  
"Ben!"  
"What?"  
"You're in love with me. Aren't you?"  
“I…”  
“You said it last night”  
“So why are you asking me now if-”

Mark reached out and took hold of Ben’s hand.  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked.  
"What good would it have done?” Ben replied “I didn't want a pity fuck. I just wanted you to love me"  
"I would never pity fuck you. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know you were in love with me. I was confused"  
"So you thought you'd fuck me then sneak off and think about it?"  
"No"  
"Do have any idea what it felt like... Waking up alone?"  
"Ben... I'm sorry. But, why didn't you just tell me?"  
"You wouldn't have hit on Christian if you'd known?"

"That's right. I wouldn't have" Mark confessed.  
"What?" Ben asked, staring at him in shock.  
"I wouldn't have needed to; I would've been busy with you"  
"Why? Because I put out?"  
"Of course not; you're my best friend, Ben and I love you"

"Love me?" Ben asked.  
"I've always loved you, Ben" Mark admitted. "I've wanted you since the first time I saw you but I was afraid to tell you because I was scared… you’re so much younger than me that it feels wrong but being with you last night, felt so damn right! What we did last night, I’ve dreamt of that for so long but I thought it could never be and that's why I made a play for Christian… because I thought I couldn't have you"  
"So it looks like we're both to blame"  
"If you'd just asked me to be with you, I would have. And if I had've told you what I was feeling... Then we could have been together a long time ago" 

Mark reached out once again and brushed his hand through Ben's hair. He smiled before tucking one of his curtains behind his ear; he leaned closer and kissed him. Mark's mind was reeling as he kissed the younger boy. He still couldn't believe this was happening. Just last night he had gotten to hold Ben in his arms, to kiss him, to make love to him. He had been able to touch Ben in places he'd only dreamed of; he'd kissed Ben better than in any of his fantasies which had given him the courage to attempt something with Ben that he hadn't even considered trying with Christian. And Ben had let him.  
Ben had looked him in the eyes and told him that he trusted him; Ben had submitted and openly given his body to Mark and that, in itself, was enough for Mark to know just how lucky he was that Ben loved him.

_*_*_*_*_*_

Christian slowly made his way down the hall to Paul's room where he stopped and stared at the closed door for a few minutes, trying to gather the courage to knock. He eventually closed his eyes and clenched his hand into a fist.  
KNOCK! KNOCK!

The door opened quickly and Paul appeared, dressed only in boxers. Christian's eyes wandered all over Paul's body, lingering at the bulge beneath the underwear. He could remember his hand closing around that. It had been big, warm, hard. It had throbbed against his palm and oozed over his fingers then he had taken it into his mouth. Paul hadn't even asked him, he'd just done it. 

Taken it in, licked it, sucked it, tasted it. He had swallowed it too. Swallowed all Paul had offered him and didn't let a single drop go to waste. Paul had swallowed him, too. He wondered if it had been Paul's first time too. Either way, he'd been amazing.  
"What are you doing here?" Paul asked, dragging Christian out of his thoughts.

"Mark's back" Christian said, saying the first thing that came to mind as he pushed past Paul and into his room.  
"You saw him?" Paul asked, closing the door and turning to look at him.   
"Yeah"  
"And you came to me?"  
"Well, he went to find Ben"  
"Think he went to fuck him?"  
"How should I know?"

Paul smiled and reached behind him. His hand found the lock and he fastened it tight. Christian was watching him like a hawk and Paul knew he had to do something drastic.  
Without thinking, he slid his hands into his underwear and swiftly lowered the garment. Christian gasped as Paul stood in front of him, bare-naked.  
Sure, he'd seen Paul naked before, it was nothing new... So why did it make him forget where his brain was? His eyes roamed Paul's body once more. He'd touched Paul there. And there. And there. And he'd put his tongue there, his lips there...   
Christian knew he had two options. One: He could push past Paul and flee the room or; Two: He could get naked and have Paul touch him again and be able to touch him in return.

His mind had already been made up. He had already decided when he stepped through that door. He reached up and removed his own shirt, dropping it on the floor in front of Paul. The older, naked boy stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Christian. He pulled him in to a strong kiss and slid his hands down his bare back.

Paul's hands met with Christian's zip and the blonde didn't protest as the older boy pushed them down past his knees. They separated for a moment and Christian used this opportunity to step out of his jeans and his shoes.  
Paul was in control now but Christian didn't care. He allowed Paul to push him back to the bed; they collapsed in a pile of limbs and resumed their kisses until Paul's hands were on his behind, feeling up his ass.

"Paul?" Christian asked; a nervous tint in his voice.  
"It'll feel good" Paul assured him as he removed Christian's boxers.  
"How do you know?"   
"I've heard about it."   
"Don't put your finger up my..."   
His eyes widened and he groaned; Paul had been right, it did feel good. Paul shifted his position, giving himself better access then he smirked.

"You want more?" Paul asked seductively.  
"Oh! That feels good"  
"You want more of me?"  
"Yes!" Christian moaned.  
"Two?"   
"God, yes! Now!"   
"Okay"   
Paul's two fingers were good and they made Paul feel powerful. He loved having this kind of control over Christian, knowing he could make the blonde beg... However, three of Paul's fingers were even better.

When Paul's cock pushed its way into Christian's body, Christian decided that nothing could feel better than this. No power on this earth could compare to the sensations he was feeling then Paul started to move, thrusting against his prostate, filling him and rocking him; completing him.   
When Paul stared pulling at his cock with one hand, Christian lost all control. He didn't know where Paul got the lubricant or where he had learned to do this. He didn't know why it felt a million times better than he had expected... But he didn't care.  
All he cared about was getting Paul to do it to him again. Soon. And getting to do it to Paul in return. He wanted Paul to know what it felt like and he wanted Paul to enjoy it as much as he was.


	7. Epilogue

Mark and Ben were the first to arrive at the recording studio, having taken their time and walked hand in hand along the street. Ben’s heart was soaring and skipped a beat every time Mark so much as smiled at him; he feared he’d be having heart palpitations before the day was over. Mark sat before the mixer and started adjusting the knobs while Ben went into the studio. 

They were just finishing the first verse when Paul and Christian made their grand entrance. The two couples eyed each other closely but no one said anything. The new arrivals moved aside and Paul watched as Ben made eyes at Mark while singing his heart out, it brought a smile to Paul’s lips to see Mark looking equally as loved up.  
When Ben finished singing, Mark pushed open the door and ran into the studio. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and kissed him.

“Are you going to praise me that same way?” Paul asked Christian.  
“Maybe not quite the same” Christian replied, he nodded towards the couple and Paul could see Mark groping Ben through his jeans.

The two singers came hurrying out of the studio and Mark said something about a bathroom break then the couple were gone and the sound tech was shooting them a ‘what the fuck is going on?’ look. Paul and Christian headed into the studio; Chris sat down with his guitar and started strumming while Paul started to sing along.

Christian looked up and dared to sneak a peek at Paul, he was very surprised to see tears in his friend’s eyes and he couldn’t resist singing along, their voices merging together as one.

“I’ve made up my mind, everything’s fine, we’re going to make it through the night”

Paul trailed off but Christian kept playing, they stared into each other’s eyes for a long time until Christian leaned forward and kissed his friend.

“It’s going to be okay” Christian whispered to him.  
“We’re going to be okay” Paul replied.


End file.
